


The Empress of Arcadia Bay

by TonightAppearance



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Humor, I did it for fun, Life is too short to be serious all the time, not my typical stuff, one plant to rule them all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 23:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14862158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonightAppearance/pseuds/TonightAppearance
Summary: The secret of who really runs this town will shock you. Lisa the plant slowly plots how to take her ultimate revenge and get all the water she wants. Read the real story of Arcadia Bay!





	The Empress of Arcadia Bay

It had been a long day for Lisa. She stretched her roots, squeezed her leaves, and looked around the small room in Blackwell Academy.

"All right, I'm up. Where is my water?" she murmured, with a totally blank expression on her face (the one she didn't have because you know... she's a plant).

"She forgot to water you again, my mistress?" asked a squirrel that had just jumped on the window frame. His name was Victorious, but everybody called him Sticky Viki, mostly because his mouth was always full of resin and nuts. Victorious was accompanied by another of his kind, a smaller squirrel called Maximus. It would be reasonable to assume that everybody would call him Max, but Lisa hated that name. She wasn't sure why, but in her plant mind it was associated with indecisive people who traveled in time back and forth and kept forgetting about their duties.

 "She always forgets!" squeaked Maximus, and his little grey body shook in disgust.

"She deserves to be punished! Bitch doesn't give you water, she's gotta get got." Sticky Viki opened another bag of nuts and started eating. He was already full after going through every trash can in the neighborhood, but don't judge.

"Damn right. I'm gonna get all the water that she forgotten to give me, create a huge freaking tornado and shove it up her ass!"

The squirrels shut up immediately. 

"Ass…? " one of them whispered in shock. "Like how…?" The silence was so persistent that they could hear Lisa's leaves moving back and forth.

"Eh... I'm not sure if that's a great idea" said Maximus. The other squirrel grew pale and almost fainted.

Lisa was about to explain how important it was to punish every single slave that pays more attention to stupid photography than doing her errands. And, she had to sit in this building where a bunch of crazy people were killing each other over photo sessions, drugs, and pregnancy tests. Unbearable.

"Oh, hello there," said the deer, coming closer to the building and breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Oh, hi Rachel!"

"Don't call me Rachel. Rachel means sheep. How many times have I told you that I'm a freaking deer?"

"You look... hmm… transparent today." Lisa looked down from the window at the glittering animal. "Too much sun? Stop tanning that much!"

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm an independent, wild and free animal, I can do whatever I want." Rachel's hooves trembled with anger. Then she calmed down a little and added "But you are right, I think it's the weather. Or…" Rachel thought for a moment. It was usually a painful process and didn't go well. "Or maybe because I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!"

Lisa exchanged knowing looks with Sticky Viki and Maximus. The squirrels nodded sadly. Rachel had some problem with general perception. Once she started to eat punk shirts, plastic bags, and other rugs at the junkyard she was never the same. Unfortunately, there were no therapy sessions for does. Transparent does especially.

And you can't tell a deer what to eat.

"So, you're planning a tornado, huh?" said Rachel, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "It would be fun. "

"Wouldn't it be a little dangerous?" asked Maximus reluctantly.

"Oh, fuck that." Lisa waved her leaf. "Dangerous for who? Those little creatures called people? I hope so! As for our safety… We can always hide in a bunker. I found one recently, it's pretty good, with a nice stereo system. And water. Tons of water."

"Wait… how did you find it?" asked Maximus suspiciously. "You are a plant…"

"So?"

"It means you usually stay in place..."

"So?" Lisa was slowly getting angry. Those creatures didn't understand her powers, and dared to question her, Lisa, the plant!

That could end badly, but fortunately, the interrogation and uncomfortable questions were cut off by yet another visitor.

"Hi guys!" a blue butterfly showed up out of nowhere. "What's up!"

The plant and the squirrels moved back a little. This little flying guy had a terrible habit of consuming his lunch, sitting on the janitor's bucket or some dead bodies. It was hella creepy.

"Hello Arnold," said Lisa slowly. She knew that the blue butterfly had some hearing problem and had the attention span of a 5-year old. She had to be loud, clear and patient. "Would you mind creating a tornado for us?"

"A… what?"

"A TORNADO!" Lisa yelled so loudly that the squirrels dropped their nuts.

"I heard you the first time." Arnold shrugged his wings. "But what the fuck do you need a tornado for? Are you nuts?"

"Hey!" said Sticky Viki and Maximus in unison.

"Since butterflies usually don't last longer than a day, I figured you wouldn't mind creating a small natural disaster." Lisa sighed and stretched again. Being the Lady of Arcadia Bay was tiring sometimes.

"Well... sure. What's in it for me?" Arnold looked at her suspiciously.

Lisa scratched her non-existing head.

"Everybody gonna die?" She tried with a lovely, most persistent smile that a plan could give.

"Hey, it was my idea!" said Rachel. "I'm consecutively trying to kill everybody in Arcadia Bay, and now you’re saying it's your revenge plan? Fuck you!"

"The outcome would be the same, what's your deal?" Lisa slowly regretted being a plant, not a tree. She could at least burn a whole forest with her anger, including all the deer and insubordinate creatures. The only thing she could burn down right now would be tons of polaroid selfies. "You will get more dead people to see. I assumed you would be satisfied."

Rachel wasn't sure how she felt about the whole murderous tornado thing but tried to look at the bright side. As always.

"More dead people to see!" the doe got excited and started jumping all over the lawn.

"More nuts to steal!" yelled Maximus!

"humpffh hummpff humppps," said Sticky Vicky with a mouthful of food.

Excitement. At last. – sighed Lisa.

"Peculiar idea, but... why not." Arnold was willing to cooperate. The first good thing that happened to the lady or Arcadia Bay this morning.

 "Can I keep the janitor's bucket?" the butterfly asked while opening his iPad and going through the weather reports.

"Sure." She agreed, hoping that the bucket would fly the hell out of this place once the tornado would come. "Even the freaking fire alarm if you want."

She opened her branches, shook her leaves and yelled:

"Squirrels, doe, butterflies and beyond! The time of my revenge has come! We will clean this place out from delinquents, drama queens, water forgetting people, and pyromaniacs!"

"I thought we got rid of the pyromaniacs last year?" Rachel frowned.

"There could be more, you never know."

"Right."

"Can you name the tornado?" Asked Rachel impatiently.

"I thought you hated your name." Lisa was confused.

"I do! But I don't like when somebody steals my ideas and don't even care about giving me any credit. It's unfair..."

“FINE!" Lisa was already very annoyed. "The tornado will be called ‘Rachel's Revenge.’"

"I think you will have to consult it with the National Hurricane Center," said Arnold, still above his iPad. The little butterfly's legs were clicking around as fast as possible.  "It's not up to a doe to name that shit, you know."

"How do you know, you bucket lover?" Rachel cut him off.

"Fuck off, you limpid deer!"

"Wait!" said Sticky Viki chewing on his nuts. "If everybody’s gonna die, who will water you and stuff?"

"I wouldn't need the water." Lisa smiled ominously. "I will be thriving on their BLOOD."


End file.
